We have been doing things that don't work for far too long.
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Self-help literature is great for inspiration and motivates us to strive for better things. The problem with this kind of inspiration is that, it is hard to model for long enough to result in a positive and permanent change.
After a few days or weeks, our self-limiting feelings come back with increased force and overcome us. This gives rise to guilt for not having the determination and discipline to follow through with what seemed to be an easy task to accomplish.
Our position at the end of this cycle is weaker than before we tried to move forward with our lives. Most of these literature are an oversimplification of actual experience, with little reference to the long and laborious struggle that the author endured.
Every book tells the same story "I was broke and unhappy and now I am wealthy and happy" think positive, you can do it too.
It is recommended to make to-do lists, however, at the beginning stages of forming a new habit, we normally find it difficult to follow each step suggested, therefore we are left with a list of things that we did not complete and this further reinforces our sense of deficiency which leads us to stop trying.
Some suggest to repeat positive affirmations several times a day, as a way to see the positive side in our daily experiences.
This also is counter-productive, because we try to lie to our selves by making statements that do not reflect our actual experience of ourselves. Our subconscious mind rebels against this over-inflated statements and depression follows.
Saying things such as: I am wealthy, I am a winner, is like listening to a person complimenting us for things that we don't have or haven't done. It doesn't make us feel appreciated, to the opposite, it makes us feel ashamed for not having done them.
Talk therapy has very poor outcomes, any positive outcome is mostly due to our natural cycles, things always get better after a crisis.
The same can be said for the many anti-depressants and other drugs that medical professionals prescribe while knowing full well that they will not fix our problem (their non-existent properties to heal are strongly advertised in company-paid studies and reviews). These drugs only make us feel better about our symptoms.
We even go to the family doctor when we have a flu, while knowing full-well that there is no known remedy for it.
We are constantly searching on the outside for what we already hold within. When we succeed in our strive to heal our bodies and minds or to improve our relationships, ironically we attribute our own success to the help and advice of others.
The answers are within and our mind is the key to our health, relationships, and happiness.
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